Paid in Full

I did something this weekend I haven't done in four years. I rented a DVD.

For most people, renting a DVD is a weekly occurrence. In high school and college I was a frequent customer at the local video store. I remember a time when I could walk by most of the new releases and have a hard time finding one I hadn't seen.

When I went into the store on Friday, I couldn't find one I had.

What changed in the past four years? Twins. Parenting in general. We haven't had a lot of time to watch movies since the kiddos came along. And in the past year, I usually spend my free time writing.

But this weekend we had my four nieces over for a slumber party and they requested a movie night. So I found myself browsing the new releases...and then passing up all of them for some old favorites. They watched Honey I Shrunk the Kids for the first time!

But here's the interesting part. For the past four years, I had this niggling feeling every time I passed the video store. I knew I had a late fee--which bothered me. It wasn't a conscious thought, but it hung over me as a reminder that I had something due. An outstanding debt that needed to be met. I didn't know how much I owed, but I was pretty sure it was more than I'd care to admit. I was terrible at returning DVDs on time.

The video store is connected to our grocery store, but I never went in to pay the debt. I just thought I'd pay it the next time I rented a DVD...I never expected it to be four years.

So, with a little trepidation, I walked up to the counter and handed over the DVDs I wanted to rent. The clerk commented that I hadn't rented a movie in four years and then his eyebrows went up and he said: "Oh, it looks like you have a late fee."

I almost cringed. Here it was.

"It's a $1.19."

I blinked. A $1.19? I've been letting a $1.19 bug me for four years? I almost wanted to laugh. I paid my past due bill and walked out of the store with my rented movies.

The funny thing is, that little niggling feeling is gone. My debt has been paid in full. And now I don't have to think about it again.

But here's the thing that struck me. A larger debt has been paid on my behalf. A debt that only Christ can fulfill. When I accepted Him as my Savior, He canceled my debt of sin once and for all. The debt is paid.

And yet, I still allow niggling feelings of guilt or shame to hang over me for past mistakes. Just like walking by the video store and feeling weighed down, there are days I walk through my life feeling the weight of my sin. Condemnation, guilt, shame...you name it.

The amazing truth is that the awesome God I serve has pardoned my debt, wiped my slate clean, and told me to think on my sins no longer. I'm free. As far as He is concerned, the debt has been paid in full.

As I watched the movies that evening, snuggled up with my daughters and nieces, I could only smile.

What about you? When was the last time you rented a DVD? Do you pay your late fees right away, or let them linger? Do you still hold on to the past guilt of debts God has forgiven?

Leaving a Legacy

Have you ever thought about the legacy you're leaving for your children and your grandchildren? What about the legacy that will be passed on to generations even further down the road?

Sometimes I think about the decedents I'll never meet. The ones who may be born a hundred years from now. Who will they be? Will they be people of faith? Will they have integrity? Will they be courageous? Will they seek God's face and His heart?

My greatest prayer is that all of these questions will be answered with a resounding yes. I've been praying for my decedents for years - and I will continue until the day I'm taken home to Heaven, because I believe that the fight for people yet to be born is already being waged today.

It's being waged in my home, in the way I'm raising my children, in the way I treat my husband, in the way I pursue the dreams that God has placed in my heart.

Each word I speak, each action I perform, each attitude I choose to exhibit are all seeds being planted into the hearts and minds of my children - and someday those seeds will mature in their lives and they will be like beautiful plants, deeply rooted in the soil of their hearts. Those plants will produce more seeds that will be planted into their children's minds and hearts and the cycle will continue.

The amazing thing about this principle is that it applies to good and bad seeds alike. If I want a lasting legacy of faith, integrity and courage to be handed down to future generations, then I must plant those seeds today - by living it out in front of my family. If I'm not purposeful in planting good seeds, then the seeds of weeds will be planted in my children's hearts and minds and that will be the legacy that is passed on.

I want future generations in my family to look back through our family tree and see that the legacy of faith was being planted for them a hundred or more years before they were even born.

What about you? Have you thought about the legacy you'll leave behind? What seeds are you planting today, that will be harvested by future generations?

Boundaries

Last week we put a fence in our front yard to corral our two year old twin boys and protect them from danger. They’re usually running in opposite directions, making it difficult for us to spend any amount of time outside before we’re exhausted. I know the fence won't replace our watchful eyes, but it will go a long way in keeping the boys out of trouble and allow us to relax a little.

When the boys mature and we can trust them, the fence will no longer be needed and their territory will be increased. There will still be restrictions for their safety, like not riding their bikes on the street, not leaving the yard unless they ask permission and being home at a certain time, but they won’t be confined to the fence any longer. Each boundary will be enlarged when we know they are mature enough and wise enough to handle the dangers and responsibilities that come with a new privilege.

I’m finding the same to be true in my life right now. Ever since I began pursing my dream to be published, I am coming up against the temporary boundaries that God has set in place for my life. As a mother of four young children, and a wife of a small business owner, the time and energy I have to invest in my writing career is limited.  

Just like my two year old boys need a fence until they are older, I also need one for this season of my life. When my children are more responsible and they don't require as much of my time, my boundaries for writing will increase. But, for now, I need to know where my limitations are, because if I didn't, I would run off into all sorts of trouble. My passion and drive to write would take over and I would start to neglect my husband and children. There are times when I get cranky because I want to walk away from all the responsibilities and just write. But God reminds me that He’s called me to be the best mom and wife I can be. Sometimes that means living my dream out in front of my kids and sometimes that means closing the laptop and spending time with them.

I’m smart enough to recognize that being a published author is a lot of hard work and commitment. Am I ready for that? No. To be honest, I’m not in a position to be able to offer my writing career that level of time and energy. It doesn’t mean my boundaries will never increase to allow for those things, it just means that for now, it’s not time. I can continue to write and learn and build friendships with other writers, but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next level. How long will it be? I'm not sure, but I know I need to be patient and respect the limitations that God has set in place for me. Just like the fence is there to protect my sons, God's boundaries are there to protect me. Someday, in God's perfect timing, they will be removed and my territory will be increased.

“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!’ So God granted him what he requested.” 1 Chronicles 4:10

What about you? What boundaries has God set in place that you run up against? What boundaries has He increased? Do you struggle waiting for God to enlarge your territory?

Gifts of God

freedigitalphotos.net



Before staying home full time I worked at a historic site where I led a team of ten people, managed a six figure budget, helped coordinate many events and activities and served on countless boards. I was a natural leader and I was confident in my skills and abilities.

The first year at home I became involved in leadership with the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) ministry at my church. There were about a dozen women serving that year and I found them to be confident, skilled, talented, smart, funny, caring, wise, and just as experienced as I (if not more so) in operating an organization.

As I watched them lead effortlessly, I began to envy the gifts that each of them operated in.

The more I envied them, the more inadequate I felt.

For the first time in my life I felt insecure, but these women were so gracious and kind I adored them and they edified me and encouraged me every step of the way. Praising me for my contributions and effort, which made me wish I was even more like them!

As I struggled with this stumbling block God brought me to Romans 12:4-8: "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

God had blessed each woman in MOPS with unique gifts and they were working in the area He had assigned to them. If God wanted me to have the gifts I envied in others, He would have given them to me. But He hadn’t. I was created exactly the way I am, with the gifts God has given me, for a specific purpose.

When I felt insecure and jealous it robbed me of the power to operate in my gifts.

God challenged me to be thankful for what He had given to the others and to trust His plans for me. As I did this I found a new sense of confidence and peace and I became more effective in serving.

With that Truth buckled securely around my waist, I can now watch these women, my dear friends, operate in their gifts and marvel at how awesome our God is in giving each person exactly what they need - and I’m blown away when I'm on the receiving end of their gifts. I may not possess what they have, but I benefit from them every day - which is exactly how God designed it to work!

I’m grateful God taught me this lesson years ago, because as I walk into this amazing world of Spirit filled writers it’s easy for me to envy what God is doing in other people’s lives. But I’ve learned that God has a specific plan for my life and if I waste time envying others, I will miss the opportunity to do what He’s called only me to do. Instead, I'm appreciating the blessings I receive from other writers and trusting God to use my unique gifts for His purpose.

What about you? Have you struggled with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy? Do you have a hard time being thankful for what God has given to others? Do you trust Him with your gifts?

Marriage

Today my hubby and I celebrate eleven years of marriage and, as of this summer, we've officially known each other half our lives. We met when we were sixteen, before driver's licenses, wisdom teeth and graduation. When we still had a curfew, when our mothers would warn: "It's time to get off the phone now" and when we had to ask permission to go on a date.

I often marvel that at the age of sixteen I was able to see in him the man he would become and to recognize that he was the one I wanted to weave my life with. Even though we didn't know it then, each of us has been exactly who the other has needed. I'm so in awe of God for giving us that gift - because He knew.

Dave's uncle once asked me why I thought our marriage would last. I didn't even hesitate. I told him it would last because we'll be having a conversation for the rest of our lives. Whether it's good or bad, whether it's interesting or dull, we'll keep talking with each other until one of us is called home to Heaven. I want to know all I can about him - he fascinates me, challenges me, defends me, loves me, cares for me, cherishes me and holds me accountable. Who wouldn't want to spend the rest of their life getting to know a man like that? He has so much wisdom and I esteem him higher than any other person I know. He's always the first person I want to talk to and the one who I can be completely real with - and the crazy man loves me anyway!



Our most recent picture - taken two
weeks ago at a Twins game.

We have both grown in countless ways – but we continue to grow together. Our faith and relationship with Christ comes first and it's the foundation our marriage is built upon, without it we would be a weak structure, crumbling under the weight of life's storms.

Our children are a wonderful extension of our love for one another and they complete us in a way that nothing else ever could. I've told them that I searched the whole world to find the perfect man to be their daddy and I know I am blessed beyond reason, because I found him and married him.

What about you? Are you married? What anniversary will you be celebrating this year? If you're not married, what other celebrations do you have marked on your calendar?

Amazing Grace

Last week I shared a personal story about a painful experience in my life on Katie Ganshert's Wildflowers from Winter Blog Hop. Today I wanted to share a story about the day God showed me His Amazing Grace.

I was just leaving my parents home after dropping off my girls. The seed of Love had been planted in my heart as God was healing me, but I still lacked the seeds of Faith and Hope. I remember backing out of the driveway asking God: After all the pain I have experienced and all the questions I have asked, can my life truly be restored? After being to such depths of fear and doubt, can my faith fully recover? Can I be redeemed? Is there hope for me?

From out of nowhere, I saw in my mind an image of the man who portrayed John Newton in the movie Amazing Grace. Mr. Newton had been an ex-slave trader who had called upon God and been forgiven and redeemed. He later wrote the lyrics to the song Amazing Grace, which has touched the lives of countless people for over two hundred years. In that moment, pulling out of my parents' driveway, I heard God whisper into my heart: If I can redeem and restore a slave trader, I can surely redeem and restore a servant who has doubted and been afraid. Instantly my heart filled with a hope I couldn't explain.

I drove for a block and a half just reveling in the truth that God's redemption will never have limits, that no matter where I had been in my thought life, I had hope for healing and full restoration. About a minute after this revelation hit me a song by Chris Tomlin began to play on our local radio station, quietly and gently...

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see."

I. Was. Speechless. There are few times I can say that my eyes have bugged out, but that was one of them! I believe, without a doubt in my mind, that God had ordained that song and that moment just for me. There may have been hundreds or even thousands of others listening to that station, but I knew this song was all mine. Tears began to pour down my face as I pulled over to the side of the road and continued to listen in awe.

"'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed"

God spoke to my heart and said: My grace is sufficient for all your needs, My grace will relieve your fears, if you'll let it.

"My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace"

He spoke again and said: Christ gave His life for you. The chains of fear and doubt have been broken off of you - get up and be free.

His mercy, His unending love and amazing grace washed over me as I continued to listen to the song I'd heard a thousand times, but now truly understood.

"The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures"

And then God spoke words into my heart that broke the flood gates of hope and healing: I promise good to you, Gabrielle. Your heart and your mind are being transformed and renewed through My Word and the days to come will be full of hope and joy once again. 

And these words from Proverbs 31:25 came to my mind: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." (Italics mine)

"The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine"

And then He said: You are forever mine. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

As the song died away, I was left speechless and in tears on the side of the road. It was a turning point in my faith walk and it brought great hope to my heart. It wasn't a coincidence, it was a moment when God was laying foundational promises in my life and planting those seeds of Faith and Hope. His grace and love are enough to heal any broken heart, wounded soul or repentant sinner. There is nothing that can keep us away from the love of God and there is no life that cannot be restored, no matter how far we have gone astray.

"Amazing Grace," by Chris Tomlin

*****

I have winners from Friday's book give away! I used a random number generator and the winner of Katie Ganshert's debut novel Wildflowers from Winter is MN Mommy! The winner of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Stressed offered by contributor Dianne E. Butts is Melissa Finnegan. I will be contacting the winners for their addresses. Thank you to everyone who joined the conversation last week!

My Wildflowers from Winter Story

Today I am honored to participate in Author Katie Ganshert's Wildflowers from Winter Blog Hop. Katie asked me to share my story, along with many others, on May 3rd & 4th. You can learn more about Katie, her debut novel Wildflowers from Winter, and today's blog hop at Katie's Website.

*****

"The snowiest of winters bring about an abundance of wildflowers come springtime." ~ Katie Ganshert

My Wildflowers from Winter Story

I was born into the most amazing family on Earth. My parents, siblings, in-laws and many extended relatives have surrounded me with unconditional love and have cheered me on every step of the way.

I grew up in a small, tight-knit town on the banks of the Mississippi River where my husband and I have chosen to raise our own family and where my mom is the mayor. We're blessed with friends and neighbors who understand the true meaning of community. For ten years, before I stayed home full time with my kiddos, I had a fantastic job as a historic site guide, spending the day with great coworkers and people on vacation.

I met the love of my life when I was sixteen. He's handsome, smart, kind and full of powerful wisdom and insight - and best of all, he's crazy about me, too. We have four adorable children, two girls and twin boys and we live in a home near the river I love. God has given me every desire of my heart. I am blessed, no doubt about it, I know I am.

I'm wildly and passionately in love with God. Every fiber of my being resonates with my Creator. Each decision I've made has been guided by my belief in Jesus. I know I'm valued, chosen and called by Him and I feel honored to be His child.

On a beautiful summer day in 2006 I had my second child, a healthy little girl. Up until the delivery everything was text book perfect, but right after she was born there were some serious complications. I was rushed into the operating room for an emergency D & C and I was put under anesthesia. Some time during the procedure I started to wake up when I wasn't supposed to - although I didn't come to my full senses. Not comprehending what was happening, I began to panic. Enough of me was conscious to know something wasn't right, but I couldn't pull myself from the abyss. In that semi-conscious state I thought I was dying, but where was Heaven? I didn't see any of the things I had always hoped to see. But, more importantly, I didn't see Jesus. All around me was white emptiness and the only thing left was my thoughts - for eternity. Just me and the panic, forever.

I was screaming for help and thank God my doctor was close enough to reassure me. I remember hearing her voice come through the fog of fear - it was like an anchor. I went back under anesthesia and my nightmare was over. I was never near death and I came through the surgery just fine, but at the time I thought I had been. I lost so much blood that I required a transfusion the next day and it took my body a good three months to fully recover - but it took my mind and my heart much, much longer.

In the weeks and months that followed, I began to have panic attacks. I kept reliving the vivid memory of that moment when I thought I had died. I cried all the time. I began to hate myself for letting the fear take over me. I was filled with guilt and remorse for missing out on the joy of my infant's first months and the look in my two year old's eyes when she saw me cry. I wondered if I would ever come out of the panic. I didn't think I could ever trust God again. I imagined my husband having to raise our children alone because I was going to be locked away somewhere.

I became insecure for the first time in my life. Who was this scared, pathetic woman? What happened to the confidence and joy I had experienced in life? I was not prepared for this at all. My foundation, the bedrock of my existence was shaken. Where had God been when I needed Him most? I questioned everything about my life and my faith. It consumed my every waking moment. To say I was overwhelmed with fear would be an understatement, it sucked the life out of me. Before my feet touched the floor each morning I was overwhelmed and exhausted with it. There was no rest for me.

I didn't tell people outside of my immediate circle, though I did speak about it a lot to those near me. Some of you may be reading this now and be shocked to hear it. Some of you saw me on a regular basis and had no idea. I didn't speak about it because it was a very personal experience and, to be honest, I was ashamed for not being able to control the fear, for having so many insecurities and for questioning my faith.

On and off for years, I dealt with the pain and fear from that experience. I asked God constantly why He allowed it to happen, but I wasn't given an answer.

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver." Malachi 3:3

I was put through the Refiners Fire and each little piece of my life was subject to the intense heat. I examined every area - and what I found left me disgusted. Yes, I had led a blameless life, I had made good decisions and I had no regrets, but I saw that I had been self-righteous. My world revolved around me and I took credit for my talents, my accomplishments and my faith. I was selfish, prideful and opinionated. I was judgemental and my expectations for myself and others was set too high. And this was just the beginning. God took me deep into my heart. He showed me that my heart was a garden, His garden, and I saw the beautiful flowers He had planted there. Flowers planted through His Words spoken to me and about me, but they were being choked out by weeds. Weeds that had been planted through believing lies since I was a little girl about who I am and who the world expects me to be. The garden in my heart was a mess.

But Jesus came.

I remember the day I felt him enter my garden to tend to my heart. He began to identify each weed and then He pulled them out, one by one. Every day He would show me another weed that needed to go and He told me the roots had to be removed or they would keep coming back. It was a very painful process and it left big, deep holes. But slowly, ever so slowly and gently, He cultivated and healed the soil of my heart. And then, one by one, He began planting new seeds of faith, hope and love into my heart through whispered promises from His Word. I can still close my eyes and see Him quietly working there as we fellowship.

It was the hardest experience of my life, but also the most beautiful. Together we're still pulling out weeds and working at getting to the root of them. Every once in a while a new weed will pop up and we'll deal with it, but my garden is now in full bloom again and it is a place of rest and beauty. As the seeds He planted continue to grow, they will produce a harvest of fruit in my life, which I can give to others through my words, my actions and my love.

It would take me a lifetime to convey all that God has done and shown me through this process. The way He's woven into my life people and circumstances to show me His glory. The deep understanding and insights He's given to me as He continues to reveal Himself in little and big ways. For the first time in my life, I have an incredible peace deep within my soul and I am left standing in complete and utter awe of the Master Gardner. The doubt and the fear have been uprooted. What I am left with is a beautiful garden of flowers from the deepest of winters and a hope beyond all comprehension.

I believe God has a mighty plan for my life - and yours. He wants to come into our hearts and clean out the mess and begin to restore the garden so that we can display His beauty.

After five years, God answered the question on my heart: why did all of this happen? He planted the answer deep into my heart soil and whispered a promise there, which I will hold for all of eternity and which will produce an abundance of fruit in His perfect timing, for His glory.

And, four years later, God gave us a double blessing for the pain, our twin boys.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Do you have a Wildflowers from Winter story? Are you still experiencing the winter, longing for the wildflowers to bloom? I'd be honored if you shared.

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Today Katie has generously offered to give away a copy of her debut novel, Wildflowers from Winter, to one of my commenters. Everyone who comments before Monday, May 7th at 12:00 a.m. will be entered into the drawing. Please leave your email address in the comment form to be notified. If you'd like to receive my reply to your comments, please click on the "Subscribe to Email" link at the bottom of the form.

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit



I took this picture last October from our back yard.

Every day I am called out by one challenge or another. Whether I read an article online, watch a television show, see a Facebook status, stand in line at the grocery store, listen to the radio, glance at a bumper sticker, overhear a conversation or even go to the doctor's office, I am given the chance to put up a fight or engage in a debate.

At home my children challenge me all day long. In my marriage I am challenged to be selfless. In my community I am challenged to fight for growth and change. In my church I am challenged to see things through others' perspectives. In my friendships I am challenged to step out and help. In my writing I am challenged to think and grow beyond my comfort zone.

It doesn't matter where I turn, there is an opportunity to raise my boxing gloves and put up a fight.

When everything within me wants to go to battle, how do I not rise up to the challenge?

In 1 Peter 3:4-5 I find the answer. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves." (Italics mine)

Some people look at this scripture and suggest that a woman must not wear makeup or jewelry or fine clothing - but I believe Peter's intent was to show that true beauty doesn't come from these outward things, instead true beauty is found under the surface, in the inner self, the unfading beauty that comes from a gentle and quiet spirit.

True beauty isn't what we look like, it's how we act and respond to life's challenges.

For each challenge I am presented with, I am called to answer with a gentle and quiet spirit. That doesn't mean I should let others walk all over me and it doesn't mean I should refrain from voicing my thoughts and opinions (this post is a good example of that).

Whether I'm dealing with my children, or a controversial topic, I need to keep my emotions at bay (as best as I can!) and respond calmly. I've learned that my children, and those I engage in a healthy debate with, will be more inclined to listen to me when I respond this way.

Daily, I seek to live out 1 Peter 3:4-5. I don't always succeed, but I keep trying because I know it is of great worth in God's sight.

Beyond my culture, my family and my friends there is One I strive to please above all others. God doesn't look on my outward appearance - what He sees is my inner self and He's calling me to show others who I am within; who He created me to be, especially when I am being challenged.

What about you? Do you put on your boxing gloves often or does a "gentle and quiet spirit" come more easily to you?

Words are Seeds

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 11:18-19

Eight years ago I became a parent. Eight years ago, the Hand of God began to mold me and shape me into a different vessel than I had been before. Children have a way of doing that to you. I have learned more about my faith and more about my character in the past eight years than I had in the previous twenty-four.

As a parent, I love teaching my children about God. I love finding ways in our day, usually when I least expect it, to teach them something about my faith. Not their faith, my faith. I don't believe I can choose my children's faith. I can't force them to believe the way I believe or worship the way I worship. It is my job to teach my children who God is from my own heart, and my fervent prayer is that they will fall in love with Jesus as they watch me walk with Him.

These sacred words in Deuteronomy are amongst my favorites. They are a reminder that it is my job, as a parent, to teach them about the Word that God has fixed in my mind and heart. I am especially blessed when I hear my children echoing my words back to me, from their own heart, because I know my teaching has been planted there.

It's a big responsibility and privilege, not to be taken lightly. Words are like seeds, whether they are good or bad, the words, once matured in the life of our children, will either produce an abundant harvest of good or evil. I am very careful with my words, though I am not perfect. I've had to apologize to my children on many occasions when I've said something that has hurt them or frustrated them. But, even then, it was a great opportunity to teach them about God and His forgiveness. I remember once I told the girls that when someone says something hurtful, it's like a bad seed has been planted, but when we choose to forgive them, we are pulling that seed out and throwing it away. If we choose not to forgive, that nasty seed will keep growing and causing us trouble, eventually growing such strong roots that it will be even harder to forgive later on.

Recently, we've been planting the seed of integrity in our children's hearts: doing the right thing, even when no one is looking. In a total act of God, our oldest's Sunday School class talked about the very same thing! They used the analogy of a cookie jar, if you take a cookie without asking, and even if mom doesn't see, it's still wrong. When I was tucking her in the other night we had a great conversation about integrity and the very next day she came home and told me that she had talked to her friend on the playground and told her that some of the things she had said weren't true and she wanted to set her friend straight. I was so proud of her, she decided to do this on her own. I told her it took a lot of courage and showed she had integrity. The seed is growing!

Words are so important, especially the Words spoken from the mouth of God, planted in your heart. Talk about them when you go out and when you stay in, when you get up and when you lie down. Plant those seeds of truth into the lives of your children, and when they grow up they will produce a bountiful harvest of blessings in their life, in yours and in the world.

What seeds are you planting in your children's lives right now? What seeds were planted in your heart when you were young? Is it time to pull some of them out?

An Authentic Life

A few days ago I was challenged by something someone said to me (how's that for evasive?) and since then, I've been pondering an authentic life - my authentic life.

Ever since I can remember, I've loved God and I've always felt immensely loved by Him. I wholeheartedly believe He created me for a reason. I was chosen, as we all are, and because I was chosen, then I must be valuable.

My relationship with Christ is the most important one in my life. Since I was a child, I have never strayed from my faith, but it has been tested during very difficult times and each time it has been tested, it has come through the fire more refined and deeper. I am radically in love with my Creator and I am not ashamed! He is more real to me than anything else and His love penetrates to the very center of my being. I can’t get enough of Him!

The decisions I've made in my life have all been made with my faith in Christ as my anchor and compass. I seek His wisdom and His guidance in every area, and I believe He has greatly, exceedingly and abundantly blessed my life. I cannot take credit for anything. Everything I have and everything I am is all for the glory of God.

I seek to be authentic inside my home and outside it. I can confidently say that what you see is what you get, not that what you get is perfect. I make mistakes every day. I fail at countless things, but I work to do better. I live what I believe and I strive to do it with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

As a child, I wanted a Savior. As an adult, on my knees, in complete wretchedness, I realized I didn't want a Savior anymore - I needed a Savior. I know that if it weren't for the grace of God and His unconditional love and forgiveness, I would be utterly and completely lost.

I live my life in abandonment to my Creator. I want to make good, sound decisions, anchored in the Ancient Word, that I pray will glorify Him and lead me on a path of righteousness, for His namesake. I want to have a pure heart before God and I don't want to be swayed by human philosophies and teachings.

And you know what? I love my life! I have peace, joy and fulfillment. I have fun, I feel complete, and I feel loved. I know the meaning of life and I know what my purpose is - and I want others to know it, too.

Do I have bad days, weeks, months? Yes. I have struggled with questions, doubts and trouble. I've been to depths so low I thought I could never climb out. I've been so riddled with fear, I thought I would be swallowed whole. And I've dealt with deep, weighty questions that have shaken the very foundation of my existence...

But, Jesus.

Through every situation He has been exceedingly faithful. God has met me in each pit I've been in and He's taught me, strengthened me and shown me His character and heart as He's lifted me out onto solid ground. Through it all, I've grown to know the One and Only and His strength has been made perfect in my weakness. To the depth of my pain and wounds, has been the depth of His love and healing. I am left breathlessly in awe before Him...

I aim to please my Father and to live my life for His glory and pleasure.

Today I was talking with my seven year old daughter about the moon. On its own, the moon is lifeless and barren. But, when it reflects the sun, it becomes radiant. That is how I want my life to be. I want to be radiant because I reflect the Son. That is my authentic life.