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Before staying home full time I worked at a historic site where I led a team of ten people, managed a six figure budget, helped coordinate many events and activities and served on countless boards. I was a natural leader and I was confident in my skills and abilities.The first year at home I became involved in leadership with the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) ministry at my church. There were about a dozen women serving that year and I found them to be confident, skilled, talented, smart, funny, caring, wise, and just as experienced as I (if not more so) in operating an organization.
As I watched them lead effortlessly, I began to envy the gifts that each of them operated in.
The more I envied them, the more inadequate I felt.
For the first time in my life I felt insecure, but these women were so gracious and kind I adored them and they edified me and encouraged me every step of the way. Praising me for my contributions and effort, which made me wish I was even more like them!
As I struggled with this stumbling block God brought me to Romans 12:4-8: "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."
God had blessed each woman in MOPS with unique gifts and they were working in the area He had assigned to them. If God wanted me to have the gifts I envied in others, He would have given them to me. But He hadn’t. I was created exactly the way I am, with the gifts God has given me, for a specific purpose.
When I felt insecure and jealous it robbed me of the power to operate in my gifts.
God challenged me to be thankful for what He had given to the others and to trust His plans for me. As I did this I found a new sense of confidence and peace and I became more effective in serving.
With that Truth buckled securely around my waist, I can now watch these women, my dear friends, operate in their gifts and marvel at how awesome our God is in giving each person exactly what they need - and I’m blown away when I'm on the receiving end of their gifts. I may not possess what they have, but I benefit from them every day - which is exactly how God designed it to work!
I’m grateful God taught me this lesson years ago, because as I walk into this amazing world of Spirit filled writers it’s easy for me to envy what God is doing in other people’s lives. But I’ve learned that God has a specific plan for my life and if I waste time envying others, I will miss the opportunity to do what He’s called only me to do. Instead, I'm appreciating the blessings I receive from other writers and trusting God to use my unique gifts for His purpose.
What about you? Have you struggled with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy? Do you have a hard time being thankful for what God has given to others? Do you trust Him with your gifts?
Excellent insight, Gabrielle.
ReplyDeleteIf we envy what others have -- either materially or spiritually -- we don't see what we have.
And we can't use it well.
And, yes, I've been there, done that. Probably will be there, do that sometime again in the future. But I'm learning to dodge the whole experience -- see it coming and step aside. I'm learning to celebrate who I am and to celebrate others.
I've learned how to celebrate others and myself, as well. It's a much more effective way to live and operate in our gifts. Thanks for joining the discussioin today, Beth. I love your insight and perspective.
DeleteLove this: But I’ve learned that God has a specific plan for my life and if I waste time envying others, I will miss the opportunity to do what He’s called only me to do.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. Anytime spent in envy or insecurity is wasted time. And yet, realizing we're there or on the verge of there means we've got the opportunity to fight it. And I love that we're not alone in managing our emotions and controlling where I minds go...we've got a Holy Spirit whose very purpose is to help us. And to me, that's awesome...because as an aspiring writer, I don't think I could battle envy or insecurity alone, that's for sure!
Love this post, Gabrielle!
Oops, "our minds" not "I minds." :)
DeleteYou're right, Melissa - realizing we've arrived at a place of envy or comparison is when we need to fight. Sometimes our greatest problems stem from not realizing we HAVE the problem. My prayer has always been that God would make it obvious to me when I'm tripping over a stumbling block - before I fall on my face.
DeleteOur posts could slide right alongside one another today. Struggle with that gunk all the time. Constantly having to surrender and trust. Life lesson for me.
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
I loved your blog post today, Wendy. It's so easy to compare ourselves - especially when we see someone else succeeding in the areas we desire to succeed. I've come to understand that God is more interested in the state of my heart than He is in the state of my manuscript status.
DeleteI'm competitive by nature. Always was, especially in school. So it's hard not to run ahead of God, to be jealous of those with agents, who get published, who have more blog followers than me, etc.
ReplyDeleteBut He's placed me here for a reason. Right where I am. Doing what I'm doing. I'm really trying to be okay with that, and to learn all I can RIGHT NOW. In this moment. At this time. Here. Now.
I'm not competitive by nature, so it always takes me by surprise when I compare myself with others and when I feel that biting thing called envy. When it sneaks up on me, I don't try to outdo the other woman in question, but it leaves me feeling drained and discouraged. Isn't it funny how the enemy uses the same nasty feeling to effect us in all sorts of different ways?
DeleteOh my word, it's Conviction and Life Lesson Wednesday. Well, on my blog crawl it is...
ReplyDeleteI must confess, I am struggling right now with the green eyed monster. Do men do this? Do they look in the mirror and think "why can't I be John Grisham? HE has an agent, HE has a book deal, HE has his own website!"
Then I think about all the deep dark crevasses where no one can see what we've hidden away. Where we hide our insecurities and bad attitudes. Where only the light of Jesus can break through.
I think for a creative soul, envy is the enemy's weapon of choice. That, and the sharp edge of insecurity. What a combination of awful and terrible.
My weapon has to be my faith and trust in my Lord, I can't fight the battle on my own.
I know my husband deals with this in a different sort of way. He owns a landscaping business and whenever he sees his competitors out soliciting our neighbors the first thing he does is stress out about his own business - which is ironic because he's so busy he can't even think straight right now.
DeleteThe great thing about the writing community is we're not in direct competition with one another - but in a way we're in competition with one another’s success. I'm so thankful we have blogs to help sort out our feelings and encourage each other along the way. Thanks for stopping by today. :)
Envy and insecurity can suffocate any relationship: God, family, work, church. Thanks so much for these wise insights from your journey, so beautifully stated.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Donna. It always feels like such a risk when I open up and reveal an area in which I struggle, but my constant prayer is that God would use my words to help someone else.
DeleteI was thinking Beth said what I was thinking. Been there, done that, and will do it again, I'm sure. And what is so incredibly frustrating is how that comparison game paralyzes us. Or, I guess I should say, me!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for that God-given reminder!
I find that when I compare myself to others, it makes me feel powerless to walk in the gifts God has given me - paralyzing - exactly. I know that even the most successful amongst us still find someone to compare themselves with. It's a never ending battle, no matter how much we accomplish - but with the Armor of God we have the weapons to win it!
DeleteYes! And thanks for the reminder! I loved the last question, "do you trust Him with your gifts?" Hadn't thought of it like that before, but that is what it boils down to...trust. Trusting God for His timing, His gifts to us...and us being faithful in the little things. Thanks for posting! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I first began working in MOPS I really felt like God was speaking to my spirit telling me to trust Him with the gifts He had given me. I would use them - in His time and for His purpose. Being able to trust Him has allowed me to be patient as I wait - and strengthened as I served.
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