Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Give Yourself a Break! Guest Post by Kim Fredrickson

Today, I'm welcoming Kim Fredrickson to my blog. I met Kim last October at the Books & Such Agency retreat in Monterey, California. She is an inspiration to me, and I'm so happy to introduce you to her today.
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Thank you so much Gabrielle for the invitation to visit your blog. First let me tell you a little bit about myself, and how I began my writing journey. I have been a Marriage and Family Therapist in Northern California for 30 years. I have been creating content for workshops in my community (parenting, relationships, self-care and self-compassion) for 25 years, but did not pursue publication until recently.

In early 2013 I self-published a book on self-compassion and faith, and felt God’s strong prompting to go to the Mt. Hermon’s Writers Conference (March 2013) to see if any traditional publishers were interested. Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group asked me to submit a proposal, and I was offered a contract in January 2014.

Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend was just released one week ago on July 7th, and I’m delighted to say there is a lot of interest in this topic.  I first became interested in the transforming power of self-compassion integrated with our faith when I saw how helpful it was to my counseling clients. I did a lot of reading on self-compassion and found there were no books on self-compassion that approached this topic from a faith perspective. I still am in shock…how could this be? If anyone should write about this topic it is believers.

God is an overflowing source of love, compassion and grace. He wants us to show this love ourselves, and out of that flows to others (Mark 12:31, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’). For some reason, in the Christian world, little is taught about how to show the same type of compassion to ourselves that we readily show to others.  I was prompted to write this book as God kept saying to me over and over, ”You need to write all this down.”

Self-Compassion is applying Grace and Truth to yourself at the same time. Self-compassion is a balance of truth (yes I made a mistake) with grace (I have worth and value and will address this mistake directly). Self-compassion is the idea that we can be kind to ourselves when we fail, and treat ourselves with the caring support we would give another who is struggling. Extending kindness to ourselves means we see ourselves as human beings who are wonderfully made by God and valuable, yet who are imperfect and make mistakes.

These last two years have really given me the opportunity to practice self-compassion. Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. That battle was 9 months of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, I was so looking forward to getting my life back…but that was not to be.

4 days after I finished all my treatment I noticed I couldn’t take a deep breath. After about 6 weeks of testing and biopsies it was determined that I developed pulmonary fibrosis, which is a very rare complication from the chemotherapy. Pulmonary fibrosis is a progressive lung disease that has a 3-5 years life expectancy. One year ago I went on supplemental oxygen (24/7) and in January had to close my counseling practice of 30 years. There are no words to express how difficult all of this has been.

I know all of us are going through very difficult life experiences. Some of these can’t be changed, but how we treat ourselves and care for ourselves while we are going through them can make a huge positive difference. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I said to myself, “I’m going to be a very good friend to myself as I go through treatment.” I continue to be a compassionate friend to myself.


I encourage all of you, whatever it is you are going through, learn and practice being a compassionate friend to yourself. Treating yourself with the compassion, understanding and kindness you would show another will make all the difference in the world.

About the Author


Kim is a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC 22635) in Northern California. Kim enjoys sharing about the transforming power of self-compassion from a faith perspective through her recently released book, Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend. Kim also writes a weekly blog, “Self-Compassion for Real Life” where she shares hope - grounded in our faith, practical tools with real life application, and heartfelt encouragement.

Connect with Kim on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and her website.

About the Book


Many people are used to showing compassion to others. What many of us have trouble with is showing that same compassion to ourselves. Too often we say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend. All this negative self-talk can have a devastating effect on our lives.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kim Fredrickson wants readers to stop beating themselves up. Grounding her advice in the Bible, she offers practical steps, specific exercises, and compassionate words to say in order to build a loving relationship with ourselves. Through inspiring stories of transformation, she helps us learn to show ourselves the kind of grace and understanding we offer to others--and to change our relationships, our outlook on life, and our view of ourselves in the process.

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Kim has graciously agreed to give away a copy of her book, Give Yourself a Break. Please enter the Rafflecopter below for your chance to win.

We also have a winner for The Cactus Creek Challenge, by Erica Vetsch! The winner is Crystal Caudill! Congrats, Crystal.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

3 comments:

  1. I think giving myself a break includes coffee and reading fiction :) But I think my "self talk" could definitely use some help. I am critical and have passed some of it on to my kids :(

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  2. I'm retired now so there are days I feel like I'm on a continuous break. However, I recognize that we're not just talking about getting away from the work for a few minutes but it's much more. Actually I just took a couple of hours earlier today for a nice nap. We were out of town at a church conference and I was about worn out. It was nice to just sit back for a while and do nothing.

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  3. I try to give my self a break by reading and having a nice cup of tea. It is good to veg out sometimes.

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