Monday, July 9, 2012

Boundaries


Last week we put a fence in our front yard to corral our two year old twin boys and protect them from danger. They’re usually running in opposite directions, making it difficult for us to spend any amount of time outside before we’re exhausted. I know the fence won't replace our watchful eyes, but it will go a long way in keeping the boys out of trouble and allow us to relax a little.

When the boys mature and we can trust them, the fence will no longer be needed and their territory will be increased. There will still be restrictions for their safety, like not riding their bikes on the street, not leaving the yard unless they ask permission and being home at a certain time, but they won’t be confined to the fence any longer. Each boundary will be enlarged when we know they are mature enough and wise enough to handle the dangers and responsibilities that come with a new privilege.

I’m finding the same to be true in my life right now. Ever since I began pursing my dream to be published, I am coming up against the temporary boundaries that God has set in place for my life. As a mother of four young children, and a wife of a small business owner, the time and energy I have to invest in my writing career is limited.  

Just like my two year old boys need a fence until they are older, I also need one for this season of my life. When my children are more responsible and they don't require as much of my time, my boundaries for writing will increase. But, for now, I need to know where my limitations are, because if I didn't, I would run off into all sorts of trouble. My passion and drive to write would take over and I would start to neglect my husband and children. There are times when I get cranky because I want to walk away from all the responsibilities and just write. But God reminds me that He’s called me to be the best mom and wife I can be. Sometimes that means living my dream out in front of my kids and sometimes that means closing the laptop and spending time with them.

I’m smart enough to recognize that being a published author is a lot of hard work and commitment. Am I ready for that? No. To be honest, I’m not in a position to be able to offer my writing career that level of time and energy. It doesn’t mean my boundaries will never increase to allow for those things, it just means that for now, it’s not time. I can continue to write and learn and build friendships with other writers, but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next level. How long will it be? I'm not sure, but I know I need to be patient and respect the limitations that God has set in place for me. Just like the fence is there to protect my sons, God's boundaries are there to protect me. Someday, in God's perfect timing, they will be removed and my territory will be increased.

“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!’ So God granted him what he requested.” 1 Chronicles 4:10

What about you? What boundaries has God set in place that you run up against? What boundaries has He increased? Do you struggle waiting for God to enlarge your territory?

33 comments:

  1. Wow, what an honest and refreshing post. I think so many of us butt up against the boundary for so long hoping God will chnage His mind when really it's our minds that need changing.

    (I found you on Twitter...are you still there?)
    ~ Wendy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Wendy. I keep thinking about how much my sons would rather run and play without the boundaries of that fence and how much I know they need it! If I can keep that perspective I will have an easier time trusting God and being patient as I wait.

      I am on Twitter - but I must admit, I don't get on there nearly as much as I should. Any suggestions for how to utilize it? I've been a Facebook fan for so long, Twitter seems so foreign to me.

      Delete
  2. Here's the conversation I have with God.
    Ahem.
    Imagine a deep voice.

    God:
    "Wait.
    Wait.
    No, I said WAIT.
    No, I mean it. W-A-I-T
    I AM speaking English, Jennifer, I said...?"

    Me:
    "...wait."

    Struggle? Moi? Bahahahaha!!!
    Me? Who Beth Moore calls for advice?
    Me? Who will singlehandedly change Christian fiction for the better?
    ME?? Who psychiatrists have posters of with the caption "Complete Narcissistist-Live In Canada"

    Oh yeah. Gabrielle, God uses wrought iron for my boundary lines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, sometimes I feel like a monkey hanging on the rails of my boundary jumping and screaming to be let out! I want to run at this publication thing full force, but I'm constantly bumping into those boundaries. I know they're there, but I keep trying. And God is saying "WAIT". As I wait, He is weaving all the pieces of the tapestry of my life together. I can't see the big picture, yet, but He can and as each thread is put into place He is saying: "This one is going to be beautiful!" When He's ready (or, better yet, when I'm ready) He'll remove the boundary and let me at it.

      Delete
    2. Gabrielle Meyer, you are, today *right at this minute*, freaking me out.

      FREAKING.
      ME.
      OUT.

      Did you know that:
      A)"God is the Great Weaver" is one of the central themes from my WIP?
      B) A Navajo tapestry is a pivotal turning point in the WIP?
      C)My dad used to call me a monkey?
      D)I prayed, THIS MORNING about querying my WIP???? Whether or not to WAIT longer?

      E)THIS COMMENT SPEAKS EXACTLY TO ME RIGHT NOW????????????

      God must REALLY want you to be a communicator. Cuz, whoa, dude...you're a veritable phone!

      Delete
    3. I have a big smile on my face. I LOVE being the mouth piece of God - especially when I have no idea I am! I'm so happy my comments meant something to you. :)

      Delete
  3. I love your outlook on this. I believe God is very reasonable in his boundaries, but we're human and impatient, and listening to Him is hard, even if it's for our own good. We talk a lot about balance and being able to fit everything in, I pray that I keep my ears open to God so that He can help me with that healthy balance and respect those boundaries even when it's hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Cindy. God's boundaries are very reasonable. Even now, He is allowing me to write and build relationships with other writers. I am planning on going to a writing retreat in October and I keep working on my dream little by little. As a human, with a dream to see my book published, I want it right now. As a child of God, with His Word planted inside me, I want to wait on Him and do it His way. It's a tug of war for sure.

      Delete
  4. Oh yah, I get what you are saying here! I thought my plate was plenty full as wife, mom of 4, and MOPS coordinator (& I was completely content with that). But God has recently increased my boundaries. After seeking guidance for God (for months) and then accepting the position of director of Children & Family Ministries at church, I then prayed "OK, God, you put me here, how am I to do this all?" I felt led to write up a schedule for our weeks...down to the hour (during the day). You know what I found after just one week of work? I felt as though I was spending MORE time with my kiddos rather than less. I realized the schedule made me more intentional about playing with my kids and interacting with them more at their level, because I knew that I had a certain amount of time. Then, of course, the enemy attacked telling me "well, jeez, what were you doing before?? just babysitting??" I quickly ran to Truth. (I've gotten much better at that, thank you Jesus)

    It's been an adjustment for sure, but it's also increased my reliance on the Lord. This job is all new to me, but I know it's what He wants me to do. It's been a joy so far! I have to be constantly aware of my priorites: God, family, then work. I'm sure I'll run into challenges with these priorities, but I'll deal with it as they arise.

    Have to say again, Gabe, I so love your blogs. Everytime I see you've posted a new one on fb, I go to it right away. What a gift you have!! The best part is, I know that you live out what you write - you are authentic. & I can often relate and/or learn from your blogs. Thanks!

    Lindsay LeClair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've made an awesome point, Lindsay. God increased your boundaries, and, with that, He's given you what you need to do the job He's set before you. He saw that you were trustworthy with your roles as mom, wife and MOPS leader and He took down another fence (just like we will when we know the boys are trustworthy) to allow you to take on more responsibilities. You've figured out how to juggle it all with grace and beauty - and you are such an inspiration to me! Keep up the good work, we're so blessed to have you in MOPS and as the Children & Family Minister at church - but I'm even more blessed to have you as a friend.

      Delete
  5. Gabrielle, oh how I love this post. So many people (writers especially) have a difficult time setting boundaries and their families are the casualties. The fact that you have set them early in your career is an incredible sign of spiritual maturity and wisdom. You can't see me, but I'm standing up and applauding you!! Woo Hooo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Donna - but I must admit, keeping those boundaries in perspective is so hard at times. God is calling me to respect the ones He's set in place and my husband usually reminds me from time to time, as well. :) I want to make sure that I am walking into my writing career the right way - if that means waiting a little longer, than I am willing to do it.

      Delete
  6. This is awesome, Gabrielle, and I love your take on the season you're in. I too often get huffy and puffy and try to push my boundaries...and then I just end up frustrated. But in my less-immature moments, in those times when I choose peace and allow myself to rest in God's timing, life is just...better. :)

    The boundary I'm up against right now is the day job. Balancing that with my writing dream isn't easy at all!! But I can't change that right now. What I can do is keep working hard and trusting God.... :) And when the time is right, I'll be a full-time writer. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And God just increased your boundaries a little more last week with the new agent! I believe God is first and foremost after our hearts. When He knows we're in a position to be trusted with the responsibilities He's given to us, He gives us a little more. Keep up the good work, Melissa! God's about to expand your territory in a way you've only dreamed of!

      Delete
  7. Love this post, i can definately relate. As i hoped that God would launch my writing career and bless my efforts with queries and contests, the exact opposite happened--He gave me another domestic responsibility, on top of my duties as a wife and mother. He made me my grandparents'caretaker. Now my writing time is limited to naptime and evenings, and its a hard adjustment for me. But i know that if i am obedient and willing to lay down my dreams to be obedient, i will be blessed and rewarded far beyond what i can imagine. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gwen, that's an outstanding perspective to have on your current season of life. I know it's hard to be patient - I do. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on the "Great Opportunity" to publish my book - that if I don't work at it and push it and go after it RIGHT NOW, I will miss the boat. But that's when I'm reminded that "My times are in your hands" Psalm 31:15a. God is slipping the pieces of the puzzle together one at a time - I want to see the whole thing completed right now, but I have to be patient as I wait on His timing - because if I rush it, His blessing won't be upon it.

      Delete
  8. Great post! I started writing my first novel when my baby girl was not quite a year old and my oldest child was twelve. Many times, I wanted to disappear for a few days (weeks) to write in peace, but I needed to be responsible and stuff. Now, my daughter is going to kindergarten next month and all four of my kids will be in school. So...the opportunity to write is now on me. And I'm a little sad about it. Anyway, time moves fast as it will for you.

    Great idea to put up the fence! You'll be able to breathe easier now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear you, Amy. The boys are already two years old and even though I feel like the past two years have been the hardest and longest of my life, in actuality, they've gone by very quickly. God is calling me to wait on Him - and I don't think it will be a long wait - it's just that I want it all right now!! I use the digital camera as a good analogy for the current climate of our culture. We used to take a picture, wait for the rest of the roll to be used up, then send the film in to be developed and then we had to go and pick it up - it could take weeks for us to see that cute picture we took - now we take the picture and in a heartbeat we get to see it on the screen! We're an instant gratification society - I have to God transcends our culture.

      Delete
  9. So much truth. I have a toddler and a full time job. Those are definitely boundaries, but wonderful ones. This is a great reminder to appreciate exactly where God has us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having a husband and children are my greatest gifts in life - and I love being a wife and a mom - those boundaries not only fill me up with my greatest joy, they also keep me grounded to remember what's most important in life.

      Delete
  10. Love your heart in this post.

    I have a full time job and run the office of my husband's business. I see things moving along, but at a slow pace. I'm just trusting God to make the timing right. I leave it all in His hands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Waiting on God and his timing is sometimes the hardest thing we'll ever be called to do - but even when things look like they are at a stand still, God is moving and His plans for us are perfect.

      Delete
  11. Wow, Gabrielle. Such wisdom in this post, and I can totally relate. (Even the fence--we put one in place when my oldest was two.) It's so hard not to strain against those boundaries, but it helps to remind myself that God wants what's best for me, which is also what's for His glory.

    Thanks so much for this post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so excited to finally have this fence up! We live on the banks of the Mississippi River, so I'm especially thankful it's been put in place. The boys don't understand the dangers around them, but as they do and they learn how to avoid them, we'll be able to let them out of the fence. God's doing the same in our lives. I want God's best for me, too.

      Delete
  12. I love seeing your heart, Gabe. It's so true that God's timing is everything...and sometimes I forget that. OK, a lot of times I forget that. I've got the day job boundary too. I wish I could spend so much more time on writing than I currently do. And sooner or later, I may have the little children boundary as well. I guess for now, I'll do what I can and keep moving toward the goals set before me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love sharing my heart, Linds! :) I think if I disciplined myself, I would get a lot more accomplished. But, I tend to get lost in my writing or reading and I stay up way too late and then when we sleep in the next morning, I'm already behind schedule. When I have that one figured out, watch out world!

      Delete
  13. I love how you share yourself! So honest, so refreshing. I do struggle with this. I tend to focus too much on whatever it is I'm "into" and ignore things that I should really be paying attention to. Yes, many things have suffered in the process. I am trying to learn to pay attention to the boundaries, but it is not always easy!

    Thanks again, girl! It was a good one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I think I share too much - it's one of my strengths and my weaknesses, another thing God works on with me. :) Boundaries aren't easy, are they? Just tonight my son tried as hard as he could to get out of that fence. He wiggled his way into every nook and cranny he could find - and then he'd get stuck and cry until we pulled him out. He takes after his mother...

      Delete
  14. It's heard because I know my attention has to be focused on my kids, my marriage and the church first. But I do find that opportunites to write to tend to pop up when I don't try so hard to make it happen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so important (and so hard!) to keep everything in the right order. But I remind myself all the time that God is a God of order and discipline and those are characteristics that He wants us to attain. Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer!

      Delete
  15. Gabrielle, I just found your blog via Rachelle Gardner and I love it. Thank you for taking the time to write and share a bit of yourself online. I love your metaphor to the new fence and your writing career. As a mother to three little boys, I needed to read this post. I often get discouraged that I am not "further along" in my writing career, but I have to acknowledge that my season of motherhood is busy... and I need boundaries to keep me sane. Thank you for reminding me of this lesson today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by and following my blog, Angie! I love meeting other mothers of young children who are pursuing their writing careers - it's nice to be in good company. :) I have four children and the youngest two are two year old twin boys. Somedays I feel like I should be further along, as well, and then other days I throw up my arms and remind myself that I have TWO YEAR OLD TWIN BOYS! :) I'm looking forward to connecting with you and encouraging you as you pursue God's best in your life.

      Delete
  16. I absolutely loved this post! I saw so much of myself in it. My three kids are the same age as your kids and it's often tough to balance mom and writer. It typically means I'm slower at writing my books, but it's so worth doing it within those boundaries like you talked about.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are my favorite part of blogging!